Trust in the Lord with all your heartProverbs 3:5-6
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Travis and I knew we always wanted more than 2 kids and were thrilled the day we found out we were expecting baby Remme #3. My pregnancy the 3rd time around was much like my other 2. Picture perfect! I have always been blessed with easy pregnancies and healthy babies!
Being what we thought would be our last child, we prayed pretty hard for a little girl, not to mention she had 7 boys on the my side of the family who were just as excited for one too. We never find out what we are having ahead of time so on Thursday, January 4th, we were excited to welcome the bundle of joy that would complete our family.
We chose induction because this baby was a little bit bigger and because Travis’ brother was moving to Florida the next day, not knowing when we would see him again we wanted him to meet the newest addition if possible!……..this was just one of many little blessing from God that we didn’t see at the time but are so thankful for today!
Pitocin started at noon and by 3 we were ready to have a baby! My doctor and nurse we placing bets on the gender and how many times I would have to push seeing as my boys came so quickly. After the first push our nurse said oh man I lose, by the second push our doctor lost her bet and by the 3rd we knew something was wrong. What we were battling was Shoulder Dystocia which is where the baby is just to big for the mother to deliver and becomes stuck. They give you a 5 minute window to deliver and after a stressful 3.5 minutes Oaklyn was born, not breathing and completely white in color. After what seemed like hours, we finally heard Oaklyn cry a soft and sad cry. My doctor begged the NICU team to allow us 1 family photo which we quickly did and they rushed her off……..again, just a little blessing from God along the way. The photo with her is filled with so much joy, you can see it in both of our eyes and I cherish that picture!
After 1.5 hours Oaklyn’s Neonatologist came into my room with Travis, looked me right in the eye and said, your little girl is very sick and we don’t know what is wrong with her so I need you to come with me right away.
It honestly didn’t hit me until we reached those glass doors of that NICU, man that place is scary. Having to watch your child helplessly fight for her life is gut wrenching for any parent. Travis and I in that moment did the only thing we could and that was to pray and beg God not to take our baby from us. How could we have a child just 2 hours prior that was off the charts perfect? I remember thinking how could this be happening…
After many tests, scans, ultrasounds, blood transfusions and her little heart stopping more times than we can count, her doctors decided to open her up to see what was going on. What they found was an extremely rare Hemangioma on her liver that had ruptured during delivery, she was bleeding out eternally. She is the first of her kind on record in the United States, Im telling ya, she is really special! Since she was too ill to remove the Hemangioma, they decided to patch it and we praised God when she made it out of surgery. Yet another little blessing sent from God!
Those praises quickly turned to heartbreak when we were told that the patch broke open once again and we were faced with a question no parent should ever have to answer. With Travis kneeling beside my wheelchair, hand in hand we praying to God for strength and knew it was time to let her go. For the first time in 10 hours, I was finally able to hold my little girl and hand her over to Jesus.